Beauty and the Beast II
by Raita Amaya
Summary: A continuance of Beauty and the Beast Gravi Style, not a spoof of the Disney sequel. New shanigans by the dastardly duo of Shuichi and Tohma, and a whole other barrel of monkeys to enjoy.


Beauty and the Beast II 

The Spiffy Spoofer, 2007

Disclaimer- I do not own Gravitation, or Beauty and the Beast. I do own the prequel, but that's a whole 'nother story.

Raita Amaya

* * *

"Lady, I fail to see what I did to deserve this!" he screamed at the witch that was hiding behind the door in front of him. "_I _didn't shut you out, I didn't do anything to you!"

"YOU broke my curse. I AM NOT helping you!" she screamed back, clearly agitated at his continued presence. He had been debating her for over three hours and showed no signs of tiring.

"Please?"

"You tried that two hours ago, and it didn't work." She answered with sarcasm.

"But…but…"

"Leave. I refuse to help you, I've told you that a million times. Now get out of my house, for god's sake!"

"I do not look good with wings. Fangs? They don't work for me. And these claws are cramping my style in so many ways I can't even begin to describe!" he articulated back. From the bag draped on his slim shoulder, a snicker echoed across the chamber.

"Well, well, look at you with your big words." It whispered, with a snicker.

"Shut it." He replied, warningly.

"I might be able to fix your physical appearance…or maladies, but I cannot fix your mental ones." Said the witch, with laughter in her voice. She opened the door a smidgeon, only to find the young man that was petitioning her rifling through what appeared to be a…a…purse. "What the hell is that?" she asked incredulously, opening the door all of the way.

"This, milady, is a man bag." He answered, and with one fluid motion was inside of the door.

"How…how? What?" she said, taking a few disjointed steps backwards. "Get out. Now you're trespassing.

"You wouldn't turn me away just because of how I look, now would you?" he asked her dangerously, showing a hint of tooth.

"I…I…no."

"That's what I thought. Now let's talk shop."

"Will you leave if I do?"

"Yep. Never to be seen or heard from again." He affirmed, smiling widely. The witch shuddered.

"Fine. Let's talk. But I'm not promising anything." She said on an exhaled sigh.

* * *

"They should have been back days ago…" he muttered with anxiety.

"Look who's leading them. And look who went. Seth himself couldn't have chosen a worse combination." A voice answered from a tall chair. A ruffling of papers followed the response.

"At least his friend went with him." He returned. A knock interrupted any further discussion.

"Get that." The voice ordered from his seat. "Quickly."

He shuffled over towards the door as quickly as his short legs would carry him, and reached the gigantic wooden doors that barred entrance to the castle that he called home.

"Yes?" he asked, opening the door a tiny bit.

For a response, it was shoved open, and a man with long, auburn hair came storming into the entrance hall from the wet night.

"Is he here?" he called to the room where he knew his always inhospitable host would be. He shook his head, and the rain from his hair nearly drenched the short inhabitant. "Sorry guy."

"He's with you, remember?" returned the voice, not even looking up from the papers in its lap.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Are you listening to ME?" the voice mocked. "You went with him to keep him safe. If you're here, and he's not, then what the hell happened?"

"He gave me the slip." He sighed. "Apparently I was too mothering for his tastes. He left me a snide note explaining it."

"How many spelling errors?" asked the voice, still not looking up from the papers and the now constantly scratching quill.

"At least thirteen." Sighed the man, taking off his drenched coat. "Definitely written by him, though some words were…"

"Exceeding his vocabulary?" drawled the voice flatly. "He's been reading my work and attempting to hide his lack of intelligence for two months now." With that, the voice returned to its writing.

"Yuki-san. Do you even care?!" exclaimed the man, noticing the complete lack of interest. "I thought you gave a damn nowadays!"

"Apparently not."

"He could be dead."

"You could be preventing that, but no, you had to get tricked by someone with the IQ of a three year old." Replied Yuki scathingly, stretching his wings and readjusting his glasses. "I'm tired of talking to you. Get out."

"I'm not leaving until he comes back."

"Then he has an hour to haul his ass back here, because then I'm throwing you out of that tower. He won't be here to save your behind this time, Hiroshi." Yuki said, with a maliciously sadistic glint in his golden eye.

For a response, Hiro glared at the seated demon, and walked out of the room. He could show himself to a guest room. He'd been there many times to see Shuichi, and to attempt to befriend the demon at Shuichi's insistent urging. In his mind, it would seem, your friends have to marry whomever you do.

Hiro found his normal room, in the East Wing, and settled down on the large bed. He sighed, and leaned back against the pillows. Sleep overcame him like a greyhound overtaking a three-legged fruit bat.

* * *

He was awakened three hours later by a sharp tapping into his shoulder. He started at that thought. Into. Not onto. He opened his eyes and came face to face with one of the scariest images imaginable; Yuki was standing over him, smiling.

"Tower time, Hiro. Let's go. Before he gets back." Yuki remarked, still smiling with his sharpened teeth showing. Hiro repressed a shudder.

"Wha?" Hiro asked in a dazed voice. He still couldn't see entirely that well, but the moonlight was glinting off of the fangs that were hovering five inches above his face. He shuddered again.

"Up."

"Don't…want…to…" Hiro said in between yawns. A sudden blow to the face from the impatient demon brought him to his sense faster than a parrot goes after Fruit Loops. "Jeez! No wonder he left…"

Yuki was caught by surprise by the last remark, and stood completely still for a few seconds. Then he grabbed Hiro by the shirt and forcefully hauled him out of bed.

"About twenty five pounds heavier…" Yuki muttered more to himself than to anyone else. He was used to hauling a much smaller person out of bed at odd hours.

Hiro stumbled away from the demon and staggered over to the doorway.

"I'm not going with you."

"I'm afraid that you are. He hasn't come back yet, and we had a deal."

"What is it with you and deals?" asked Hiro, halfway delirious, and halfway meaning to wound.

Yuki didn't respond. Instead, he again grabbed Hiro's shirt and started dragging him through the castle, towards the dungeon tower. He had walked this route in the same manner many times, but something, or more like someone, had always stopped him.

'Not this time.' He thought to himself.

"Master…you probably shouldn't…he'll be really mad…" came a voice from the stairs.

"Shut up, Sakano. And he'll get over it. My castle, my rules, he knows that." Answered Yuki quickly. He moved to step around Sakano, but was blocked by the stalwart clock.

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you…"

"You forget your place. Move." Ordered Yuki. Hiro had many times ago given up trying to get away when Yuki was in one of his 'moods'. He still bore scars.

"Sorry, sir." Answered the clock with his face towards the ground. He could usually get away with murder when the other master was around, but not now.

Yuki continued to drag Hiro down the hallway, and finally reached the door to the tower. He pulled Hiro up close and smirked at him. He had finally won. Once and for all, the meddler was going to die. He half-laughed and pulled the door open triumphantly.

"Prepared for your doom? Let's-. Shit." He said, the image in front of him not pleasing him in the least.

"Drop him." Said the figure behind the door.

"You could have shown up half an hour ago." Said Hiro, with relief showing through his remark.

"Move, Shuichi."

"Let him go." Shuichi commanded, though he had taken a step back in retreat. Yuki rarely looked that upset.

"Not on my life. Not this time." Replied Yuki, holding his ground against this new terror.

"Yuki…" returned Shuichi, sounding halfway dangerous, but his eyes gave away his worry. He was completely aware of his lack of control over the demon.

"Move." Said Yuki firmly. Shuichi was losing his resolve. He broke down a lot quicker these days.

Shuichi didn't have a response. He had expected Yuki to let Hiro go, just like always. Before he could say anything however, Yuki pushed past him into the dungeon tower, pulling Hiro along with him.

"HEY! DON'T JUST LEAVE ME STANDING HERE!"

"Not my problem if you can't keep up." Replied the demon, his voice echoing down the spiral staircase.

Shuichi didn't bother with an answer, and instead ran after the pair. Yuki had been trying to off Hiro ever since he had started coming by to visit. He hadn't quite forgiven him for trying to interfere the first time around. Shuichi had so far been successful in pacifying the demon, but this time, things looked a lot different. Something was clearly bothering Yuki.

"Yuki!" Shuichi squealed after the retreating demon.

Shuichi's only answer was the sound of the dungeon door slamming shut. He gasped, and ran up the stairs as fast as he could. He arrived at the door and threw it open. Yuki was standing over the by the window, and Hiro was standing beside him. Shuichi ran into the room, and made a step towards the window.

"Stay out of this." Yuki said suddenly when he thought Shuichi had come to close for comfort. "Leave."

"What is it with you people?! I'm sick and tired of being told to leave! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" he shrieked, his anger reaching the boiling point. "NOW LET HIM GO!"

On his last word, Shuichi's voice cracked and the ceiling above the trio shook. A few seconds later, a chunk of the ceiling broke loose and fell right on Shuichi's head. The twenty year old swayed on the spot, looking dazed, and then promptly toppled over.

"Jesus." Said Yuki, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples.

"This is why you should never get involved with that family." Hiro answered, trying to sound friendly. He didn't feel like getting thrown out of a window.

Yuki just shot Hiro a look out of the corner of his eye, and sighed. He walked away from the window and over to where Shuichi lay unconscious on the floor. He bent down and picked him up, and on his way to the door, addressed Hiro.

"I'm not going to throw you out today. Might as well leave." Yuki said over his shoulder to Hiro. Then he opened the door and walked out with Shuichi draped in his arms.

* * *

"Took you long enough." She said as Tohma walked in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?" asked a teapot sitting in the corner. "Piece of cake?'

"I'm fine, thanks, Judy." Answered Tohma as he hopped over to where Mika, the feather duster, was standing. With a weathered sigh, he took off his boa, which was drenched with water from the rain outside.

"Hot chocolate?"

"No, Judy."

"Biscuit?"

"No."

"Jell-O? Soup?"

"NO!" Tohma screamed as he whirled on the teapot. He had become more edgy in the last few months.

"Fine then." Returned Judy as she shuffled back out of the kitchen. Messing with Tohma was so much fun. "Buttered toast?"

"Alright, alright." Sighed Tohma as he hopped back over to Judy.

"Get it yourself." Replied Judy with a sniff.

"Seriously? After all of that?" said Tohma, with clear distress. "JUDY!"

"Hey, I offered."

"And I accepted!" returned Tohma. "Eventually…and besides, I've just spent the last week with Shuichi!"

"And what exactly were you doing?" asked someone in the shadows. "I still don't grasp the point."

"We were talking to someone, dearest."

"Don't call me that. Where were you?" replied Mika, with a tone of aggravation.

"We were handling some personal business."

"Tohma."

"We went to Ayaka's"

"Are you that stupid?" asked Mika incredulously. "After everything that happened? You two idiots went there?!"

"Yes. And victory is ours." Answered Tohma, assuming the superman pose while he flung the boa over his shoulder.

"Oh, real manly." Said Mika ferociously. "You two are lucky you aren't dead. What in all of hell possessed you to go there?"

"Shuichi did. Guess he got tired of having teeth, you know being a veggie and all."

"The word is vegetarian." Chimed in Judy.

"Whatever." Replied Tohma, rolling his eyes like a thirteen year old.

"He wanted to be normal again?" asked Mika, again incredulously. "Are you kidding me? What about Eiri?!"

"We all know his case is hopeless. That witch hates him. But after some finagling, Shuichi got her to change him back."

"I'm going to kill him." Responded Mika. "After everything Eiri went through for him. Jesus, you know what a hard-ass he is."

"Well what about Shuichi?"

"What about him? Eiri changed a lot for him. He smiled for chrissake. He doesn't smile!" screeched Mika.

"I'm sure Eiri will be just fine!"

"You are supposed to look out for him! A year and a half ago you couldn't stop worrying about him!" shouted Mika, feathers flying everywhere.

"A person can only be rebuffed so many times, Mika!" answered Tohma. "You-"

"Judy. I need ice, and something to wake him up."

"What happened?" asked Tohma, running over to where Yuki was standing.

"The usual. Knocked himself out with his voice again." Replied Yuki nonchalantly. "Third time this month, I think."

"Eiri, listen, we need to talk about something…" said Mika, calmly approaching her younger brother.

"Don't call me that and keep your distance, woman."

"Excuse me?" hissed Mika. "What did you just call me?"

For an answer, Yuki just stared blankly at his sister, a look of defeat shadowing his fine features. Judy came up and handed him some ice and some smelling salts that she had made especially for such situations. Yuki nodded towards her in thanks and left the room as suddenly as he had entered.

"Did you see that!? Look what you've done!" Mika shouted at Tohma after she was sure that Yuki was out of earshot. "Tohma, how could you?"

"I…I…" Tohma stuttered back; he hadn't expected Yuki to take it like this. He had expected him to not care, as usual. "I didn't think that this would happen…"

"Correction: YOU DON'T THINK AT ALL!" Mika screamed with finality as she stormed out of the room. "And find your own room tonight."

"Mika, wait!" called Tohma, but it was too late.

"Wantin' that toast now, maestro?" asked Judy sarcastically as she began to shut down the kitchen. "Michael! Bed!"

Tohma sighed and hopped out the kitchen to find Sakano. He had a spare bed made up constantly; Mika was a lot more irritable these days.


End file.
